Am I a Monster?
by SirVacuumThe3rd
Summary: Loki's a monster. That's what he believes. He's grown up with it, he's been called it all his life. The thought made it in to his head and stayed there. Everyone believes it, and when one person comes along and thinks differently... Rated M for torture. Loki/Tony.


Loki was tied to the bed. The chains that held his wrists and ankles cut into his skin and were crusted in his blood. There was a gag in his mouth, suffocating him, making every breath a challenge. He knew why he was here, chained down on a cold metal slab.

"Monster."

"Monster."

"Monster."

Every day. Over and over again. Never ending. He would shut his eyes tight and clamp his mouth shut, trying to shut out their taunting voices.

"Monster."

"Monster."

"Monster."

They kept him in the dark. No way to tell if it was day or night. Not that it mattered. They never slept. They kept going. Leaning in and whispering in his ear with warm breath, then pulling back and yelling in his face.

"MONSTER!"

"MONSTER!"

"MONSTER!"

The never ending torture supplied to him by SHIELD and the weakness given by Odin. The torture got to him. Made him want to curl up and escape. He tried. Everyday. He would try to think of better things. He would try to sleep. But the chains would get tighter, cutting into him more. The sharp pain keeping him awake. He would retreat into his mind then, thinking of stars, spelling out entire paragraphs in Norse, anything. Anything other than what was happening outside of his head.

"Monster."

"Monster."

"Monster."

Over and over and over again.

The tears only came once a day. Only then. He never knew the time, or if it was the same time each day, but they always came. The torture would stop. Only for a few moments. Enough for him to be fed and to drink, because torture only works if he's alive for it. And he would never be unchained, not even then. He was fed by someone else.

"Shh, everything's okay."

"You'll be okay."

"I'm here."

Stark. Every time it was him. He would sit down before him, his dark eyes looking sadly at Loki, brushing his fingers against his cheek, pushing back his hair, gently taking his bloodied gag out. He would slowly take a wet washcloth and wipe down his face, murmuring sweet nothing's to him under his breath.

"Don't worry."

"I'll never leave you."

"You're safe."

He would pull out a small package of some unidentifiable food and start to spoon it into Loki's mouth. He would repeat this until all of the food ran out, then reach behind him for the water bottle. It was then that the tears would start, warm tears slowly leaking out of his eyes, running down his face onto the slab below. These few precious moments passed quickly, Tony turning around and seeing him everyday with fresh tears streaming down his face. He would look at Loki with the expression of deep sadness on his face, slowly reaching out and wiping away the tears.

"Don't cry."

"You'll make it."

"I'll make sure."

Tony would then take the bottle of water and slowly tip it to Loki's mouth. The cool water would go down his throat and sometimes dribble over his cracked lips. Tony would wipe down his chin with the cloth and give him another sip.

"Shh."

"I'll be back tomorrow."

"Don't worry."

Loki would watch quietly as Tony slowly placed the gag back in his mouth, a pained expression on Tony's face that reflected his own. It was then that Loki would look Tony right in the eye. His green eyes trying to send a message to Tony, trying to show all of his raw emotions trapped inside him. Tony always looked back, his dark eyes showing his half of the story, promising with him everyday. Everyday they made the same promises to each other, trying harder as each day passed. Tony would back up and keep looking sadly at Loki, as Loki would start to try to break free of his chains. He would yank his arms, kick and buck against his hold. He screamed, his cries muffled by the gag. He always looked right at Tony, still trying to break free, and Tony would stop. Every time, Tony would stop halfway across the room and look at Loki. He would have a silent battle in his mind, Loki could always see the faraway look he got when this happened, and each day he hoped it was the day that Tony would help him, unchain him, free him.

"I'm sorry."

"I can't."

"I wish I could."

And Tony would slowly walk over to him, his feet not making a sound as he came closer. Loki would stop fighting against his chains, stop screaming. He would stop moving, exhausted. Tony would bend down over Loki and very gently place a kiss on his forehead. Loki would close his eyes and feel Tony's stubble scratch his head and feel the warm breath tingle across his face. Tony would pull back and look Loki right in the eye, tracing a hand along his jawbone. Loki wanted nothing more than to take his hand and softly lay it on Tony's cheek. He would strain against the chain, and a small, sad smile would appear on Tony's lips when he heard the chains rattle.

"Tomorrow."

"Tomorrow."

"Tomorrow."

Then Tony would turn around and leave. Loki would close his eyes, bracing himself for what was to come. The dark taking him again.

"Monster."

"Monster."

"Monster."


End file.
